Russell Beattie

I'm checking out the Expat Bloggers and found this humorous piece by a Brit in the U.S. named Ritchie Hughes:

The Queen's English

It seems that some Americans have real trouble understanding my accent. Case in point is the cashier who served me in Arby's today. It was the usual routine: I placed my order three times, each time refining my speech pattern until it matched the phonemes that he has been preprogrammed recognise. Finally, he got it right and we agreed that I wanted chicken fingers and Coke, and not the original order of chips, fajitas and cake. Well, actually he still got it wrong, but I didn't have an extra 15 minutes to communicate the fact that I wanted home-fries instead of curly ones. Anyway, the conversation then started to proceed at lightening pace:

Him: "Where are you from? Your accent is kinda hard to understand"
Me: "The UK... London"

This isn't strictly true, but it's easier to say London than describe where Luton is in a country that he probably can't even find on a map.

Him: "Oh. Is English your first language then...?"

Bastard.

Heehee. I love it. I should be sympathetic and relate to him since living here in Spain, getting the wrong order at a restaurant (or worse, having no idea what you are ordering) is still a daily frustration after almost 3 years here. But since he's English, and I've had my English corrected one too many times here by an English person ("It is 'TROW-sers' naht 'PAHNTS'"), I am laughing with spiteful glee.

I'm evil, I know... but this just gave me soooo much joy, what's that German word again?

-Russ