Russell Beattie

Dear Big Tech Media:

I know you're in love with Palm. I was too. It's got a great user interface, it was really neat little gadget back in the 1990s and hell, the syncing is still without compare. But please, the 75 or so stories that filtered through my aggregator in the past 24 hours about Palm's new "smart phone OS" was a little over the top, no? It's not like you didn't know Cobalt was coming. And it's not like the phones are actually available now, or will be available via a major manufacturer next year. Right? I mean, was it a slow news day?

Hey, okay. So I can see the new browser is pretty neat, and hell, Palm as a real multi-tasking OS is something to get a little jazzed about. But judging from the pics of the Qool Palm phone there's some disconnect in what I'm reading. Here's a little lesson in mobile nomenclature: If you can't use the phone with one hand, it's not a smart phone. Got it? It's pretty simple. It's a PDA Phone or a Communicator or something. Whatever it is, it's not a smart phone. It's a relic. An elecronic organizer with an antenna. An anachronism. A soon-to-be market failure. Get the idea?

Let's go over this again: If it doesn't have a keypad? It's not a smart phone. If you have to use a pen? It's not a smart phone. If the main function of the device is not making calls? It's not a smart phone. If it has a little keyboard? It's not a smart phone. If it comes with a belt clip? It's not a smart phone. If it doesn't have left and right soft buttons? It's not a smart phone. If the screen size isn't 176x208/220 or QVGA? It's not a smart phone.

But again, the most important point: if you can't use it with one hand? It's not a smart phone.

I hope we're clear on this, now. Thanks.

Yours,

-Russ